Parenting & Its Toll On Your Mental Health
Being a parent is a 24-hour-a-day, 365 days-a-year job. You never stop being a parent; not in your sleep, not at college graduation, not at their wedding, and especially not when they have kids. You will always be this human’s parent; it’s wild! You will always walk this earth wearing your heart outside of your […]
Spring Cleaning: Five Ways to Clean Out Your Anxiety
Spring is finally here! Winter can be a challenging season for any of us. The cold weather and gray skies can trigger Seasonal Affective Disorder, lead to depressive feelings, or further social isolation. Spring is all about reawakening; flowers bloom, patios open up, and morning walks begin. ‘Spring Cleaning’ is a phrase that is used […]
How Animals are Changing the Therapy Game
You may have heard the term “Therapy Animal”, but how much do you know about their role in the world of mental health care? As Animal Assisted Therapy (AAT) becomes more mainstream, it is important that we learn their role, training, and the benefits of the animal-human bond. First things first, let’s differentiate the titles […]
5 Signs that You are a Perfectionist and How to Navigate it
Sometimes I wish I could be perfect in all aspects of life. Do you ever wish that? Do you find yourself wanting to be the perfect partner, employee, student, brother/sister, or friend? While the definition of perfection may vary between us, we ultimately want to achieve success because it makes us feel accomplished, validated, proud, […]
Dear Perfectionist:
*Written by a Perfectionist I saw the Instagram reel your company posted, the one where you so confidently pronounced diaspora as dysphoria. I witnessed the moment when one of your staff members referenced your mistake and you assured her what you said was correct; because, “Hellllooo, you ARE Perfectionist”. I witnessed the bile rise in […]
How to Let Go of Perfectionism and Fill Your Cup
Perfectionism is associated with a range of mental health problems including anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. Perfectionism can manifest in different areas of your life, ranging from a preoccupation with making “perfect” impressions in social situations, to always getting an A+ in class or knocking it out of the park at work. Some may argue that […]
The Connection Between Perfectionism & Mental Health
Perfectionists derive their value from positive recognition from others. It is no wonder that we exclaim, “perfect!”, for the things we see as positive. When we hear that something is perfect, we often feel relieved and accept it as a well-intentioned compliment. However, perfectionism has another side to it that can serve as an indicator […]
Is it 5′ o’clock Yet? : How to Stay Motivated at Work
We have all been there; staring at the clock moving minute-by-minute, waiting for the end of the work day. Staying motivated throughout the day is challenging and (unfortunately) common. Expecting yourself to be motivated 24/7 is unrealistic, but if you find yourself struggling more than usual, here are some tips that can help. 1. Listen […]
The Importance of Community: Understanding Group Therapy
When it comes to our emotional and mental well-being, there is one powerful thing that is often overlooked: community. In a world where we’re taught to be independent and self-sufficient, it’s easy to forget the impact of community. One way to foster community in a safe setting is Group Therapy. These groups consist of individuals […]
Life Changing Time Management Skills That You Can Start Today
One of my favorite quotes about the human experience is ‘we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit’. It reminds me that achieving more is less about a single instance of herculean greatness, and more about creating consistent habits that allow us to achieve goals. One of the […]
Black Mental Health Matters: Accepting Therapy Within the Community
I had my first panic attack at age 5. Heart pounding, I couldn’t hear anything but the blood rushing to my head. I felt dizzy, my vision blurred and I couldn’t breathe. I owe all of this to Eddie Murphy. I stayed up way past my bedtime to watch Eddie play Buckwheat on Saturday Night […]
How to Focus on Progress Instead of Perfection
Our learned measures of progress stem from our earliest years. In school, we are taught to strive for the best grades. We measure these grades down to percentage points, and progress in class is directly related to your percentage point. We are told that an ‘A’ is the best grade; the closest to perfection. A […]
Nobody’s Perfect: 5 Signs You’re Being Too Hard on Yourself at Work
Do you find yourself creating negative thought loops in your mind when you are at work? Do you feel like your work stresses bleed into your personal time? If so, you’ve come to the right place. Below is a list of five signs that you are being too hard on yourself at work. It can […]
3 Good Morning Habits for a Successful Start to your Day
Do you wake up feeling groggy and unprepared to start your day? This is a common experience, especially in the winter months when there is less sunlight. A morning routine is a good way to rev your engine and start your day on a positive note. Make sure you set realistic goals for improving your […]
Accepting Good Enough
Perfect is a word that gets thrown around a lot. Especially for high achieving professionals, perfect is the ultimate and constant goal: the perfect client pitch, the perfectly planned event, the perfect employee or boss. For some people, their perfectionism is seen as a superpower. It acts as an internal motivation that they use to […]
Learn How and When to Say ‘No’
As a therapist, I use the word ‘boundaries’ a lot. We set them, we hold them, we break them; this is the reality of having interpersonal relationships. Learning how to say ‘no’ is hard. Depending on your identity, you may have been taught to be service-oriented and agreeable. This means that saying ‘no’ is breaking […]
Tools for Dealing with Anxiety During the Holidays
The Holidays can be a time of high-highs and low-lows. Our collective anxiety increases with the expectations that come with this time of year. Family gatherings, holiday parties, and the uncertainty of the next year can create a mix of excitement and anxiety. Uncertainty and expectation are a breeding ground for increased anxiety. The management […]
How to Find a Therapist That is Right for You
A positive relationship between a client and therapist is based on trust and open communication. When you feel comfortable and connected to your therapist, the therapy itself improves. You will likely allow yourself to be more vulnerable because you know the person on the other end is trustworthy and cares for you. Every therapeutic relationship […]
Goal Setting: How to Envision the Future
We are taught that setting goals helps us progress in life, but are rarely told how to set them. Goals are nuanced, and our circumstances impact the types of goals that we can create. Two people may have the same goal of ‘being a CEO’, but depending on their identity, and taking intersectionality into account, […]
Moving Through Anxiety
Anxiety is a common and natural feeling. It can arise when we are uncomfortable, unprepared, or worried. Anxiety manifests in the body through a series of symptoms including elevated heart rate, strained breathing, trouble concentrating, and more. Take a moment to reflect on your physical symptoms when you feel stressed. Some people develop subconscious self-soothing […]
How to Set Boundaries at Work
When we read self-help books, inspirational social media posts, or read about self-care activities, one phrase is always present: ‘work-life balance’. We are told how important it is for our mental health. We are told that without it we will develop anxiety or fall behind on taking care of ourselves. Sometimes it feels like a […]
How to Balance Family, Work, and Living in Today’s America
Today’s America looks very different from America pre-pandemic. It’s important to acknowledge the difficulties in balancing and living as there are times where the two struggle to co-exist. While battling inflation, possible layoffs, health scares, and the upcoming holiday season, the looming stress can feel like a burden. So here are some tips to preserve […]
5 Negative Habits to Change Today
As we move through the world, we develop coping mechanisms for everyday situations. We create narrative and behaviors to deal with our circumstances. Some coping mechanisms are positive and healthy. The coping mechanisms that we should work on are the negative ones that lead to harming ourselves or others. What are your positive coping mechanisms? […]
How to Stop All-or-Nothing Thinking
All-or-nothing thinking places our behaviors and thoughts into two categories: good or bad. It only assigns value in these two extremes; there is no gray area. An example of this type of thinking is saying, “I failed that test so I will never be successful”. One bad moment turned into something larger with consequences for […]
The Power of Sharing: Activating Your Network
It is easy to feel lonely in our fast-paced, technology-centered world. These feelings of loneliness can bring about anxiety, social isolation, and depression. Building your community is the antidote to loneliness. Connecting with the people around you is healthy and necessary for a balanced life. When you build relationships that allow you to share and […]
Wellness and Work-Life Balance
The phrase ‘work-life balance’ is used over and over again in mental health blogs, motivational social media posts, and conversations with coworkers. It is an elusive concept, to be able to strike a balance between your personal and professional lives. Now more than ever the line between those two areas of our lives are blurred. […]
Does Expressing Your Feelings Actually Help?
Before jumping into a quick answer, let’s discuss feelings in general: It is important to remember that emotions and feelings are not bad. They often derive from met (or unmet) expectations based on set values or boundaries. These can be both expectations for yourself or for others. Expressing feelings can: Increase confidence Provide insight into your […]
Dear Perfectionist, You Have Nothing to Prove
Perfectionism is a greatly misunderstood phenomenon. Perfectionists are perceived as people who need things to be done to the highest standards. In some ways, this can seem like a good thing; people who focus on achieving often do so, no matter what the cost. Perfectionists often feel pressure to perform at the highest levels. This […]
The Function of Focus
“Let us reflect on what is truly of value in life, what gives meaning to our lives, and set our priorities on the basis of that.”-Dalai Lama What comes first when you are writing your to-do list? We all have different priorities based on our life circumstances. Prioritizing is an essential part of maintaining a […]
Valuing Your Time: Work vs. Productivity
It takes work to create a product, whether that be tangible or something else related to your industry. That being said, not all work is productive. This distinction is important because we are often praised for working longer hours by employers, which helps create the misconception that more work equals more productivity. We all work […]
Giving Your Brain a Break: Tips to Effectively Relieve Stress
In the constantly changing landscape of our lives, it can feel counterintuitive to quiet your brain. More thoughts equal more progress, right? But this isn’t necessarily true. Burnout extends beyond the workplace. You don’t have to work a 9-5 job to feel overwhelmed and overextended. In a society that over-values productivity and under-values personal growth, […]
5 Positive Affirmations for High Achievers
At Refresh, we work with high-achieving individuals who are committed to doing the work of therapy. Part of this ‘work’ is building confidence in yourself. High achievement does not equate to confidence, as many would assume. High achievers often feel immense pressure to continue to perform well; whether it be in their personal lives or […]
Therapy Fatigue: What to do when therapy becomes exhausting
Therapy can be rejuvenating. Therapy can be cathartic. Therapy can also be exhausting. Each session is different; some will require focus, honesty, and raw emotions, while others can be filled with humor or casual discussions. Not all sessions will produce an emotional breakthrough. The work can be a slow process, and some sessions are about creating a strong relationship between therapist and client.
5 Tips for Discussing Your Preferences in the Bedroom
There is no script for how to talk about sex with your partner. Communication about sex is not often taught, so it requires practice. The safer a relationship feels, the easier it can be to talk about sexual preferences. Exploration with your partner can be fun, but it requires trust. Below are a few tips to communicate your sexual interests with your partner:
Overthinking
Overthinking. We all do it; some more frequently than others. We fixate on an awkward interaction or an upcoming event. It can be uncomfortable to feel the tornado of thoughts that swirl in your head when you are overthinking. This type of thinking can breed anxiety, which leads to further fixations. This is a cycle we can break by recognizing the signs of overthinking and actively managing them before they become overwhelming.
Managing Your Time in a Hectic World
Write out your to-do list. How does it feel to see it? Is it long? Does it feel overwhelming? Between in-person and online tasks, we all have a lot going on. Our lives are expansive because of sheer access to information, connection, and communication. Maybe you have kids. Maybe you are caring for a loved one. Maybe you are trying to balance personal, social, and professional life. No matter what your circumstances, it is ok to feel overwhelmed. It is not uncommon for us to overextend ourselves for the purpose of pleasing others.
Refresh’s Celebration of Mental Health Awareness Month
Each of us experiences mental health in a different way. For some, it is a constant struggle to balance. For others, it is an afterthought. It is hard to put ourselves in the shoes of those around us; even those we love. Mental Health Awareness month can be about so much more than recognizing the signs of illness or discussing stigmas. That work is important, but there is more. It can be a time to celebrate the hard work of taking care of your mental health, or supporting others in their efforts. To be aware of mental health is not just to be aware of its dangers and downsides. It is also to shed light on the powers of thinking differently, or to celebrate human strength and resilience.
How to support friends and family struggling with their mental health
Being honest about mental health issues can be challenging for anyone. Even with the people closest in our lives, being vulnerable takes courage. Though the cultural conversation surrounding mental health has opened many up to subject, these thoughts and feelings can be intensely personal and hard to communicate. Creating a vocabulary surrounding mental health is important for all of us. When we normalize talking about our emotions and mental health challenges, we invite others to do the same.
Treatment Fatigue
Do you ever find yourself asking the question, “Should I continue doing therapy?” Sometimes we hit a point in therapy where it seems less fruitful than it once was; or worse, maybe we even start to feel distressed at the idea of preparing for our weekly sessions. I get it! I have been there, and trust me…it absolutely can be cyclical.
5 ways to talk to your partner(s) about your dislikes in the bedroom- Effective communication for the win!
We all have grown up hearing the saying, “Communication is key”. It couldn’t be more true, especially when we are talking about the communication between you and your partner(s) in the bedroom. This is a topic, in society, still viewed as taboo. Schools still struggle to navigate conversations around sexual education and forget about freely […]
