Author: Maria Lopez

Every April, Autism Awareness Month rolls around. We hear calls for “inclusion,” “understanding,” and “support.” But inclusion isn’t about inviting autistic people to sit quietly at the edge of a neurotypical world. It’s about recognizing that the systems, norms, and expectations of that world weren’t built for us—and we shouldn’t be the only ones expected to adapt.

This is what masking is: the lifelong, exhausting effort autistic people make to appear non-autistic.

It’s learning to mimic the tone, rhythm, and pacing of neurotypical speech. It’s suppressing stims. Forcing eye contact. Smiling at the “right” time. Making small talk that feels pointless. Sitting through sensory overload without showing it. Memorizing social rules that change depending on who you’re with. And doing it all while hiding the fact that you’re doing it.

Most people never see it. And that’s the problem.

When autistic people communicate in ways that are considered “normal,” we’re praised for how well we’re doing. When we don’t, we’re dismissed, ignored, or corrected. Either way, the message is the same: adapt.

And we do. Autistic people are trained from an early age to meet the non-disabled world where it is. We’re taught to communicate in their way. To relate on their terms. To work, socialize, and exist in their environments. To push down who we are so we can be more “acceptable.”

But here’s the part no one likes to talk about: the non-disabled world isn’t asked to meet us halfway.

No one teaches neurotypical children how to recognize autistic communication as valid. No one expects non-autistic adults to slow down their conversations, to interpret literal language without judgment, to accept alternate body language as equally meaningful. No one rewrites classroom environments or workplace expectations unless they have to—and even then, it’s met with resistance.

It’s not just that autistic people have to do all the adapting. It’s that we’re expected to do it silently, invisibly, without recognition—and without reciprocal effort from the world around us.

That’s not inclusion. That’s compliance.

The burden to communicate, relate, adjust, and contort falls entirely on the disabled person. And when we can’t—or simply won’t—do that anymore, we’re told we’re difficult, rude, cold, or too sensitive.

So this Autism Awareness Month, let’s stop asking autistic people to do more. Let’s stop celebrating how well someone masks their disability and start asking: Why do they have to?

Why is the non-disabled world so rarely expected to change?

Why do we treat accessibility as a favor instead of a responsibility?

And why are neurodivergent people expected to make themselves understandable, while everyone else is free to stay exactly the same?

It’s time we stop calling this “inclusion” when it’s really just assimilation.

It’s time the world starts doing its share of the work.

—

I’m a neurodivergent psychotherapist, and one of my areas of specialization is working with adults who were diagnosed with autism later in life. I know firsthand how much effort goes unseen—how hard it is to untangle who you are from who you’ve been trained to be. This month isn’t about raising awareness of autism as an abstract concept—it’s about recognizing the people who’ve been here all along, quietly doing the work to fit into a world that rarely makes space for them. We deserve better. And we shouldn’t have to keep asking.If you’re looking for a therapist who truly understands the complexity of late-diagnosed autism and the lifelong experience of masking, our team is here to help.
Book an appointment with one of our therapists today.

Written by: Keeley Teemsma, LCSW, MA

Every day, people in the United States consume news and updates from social media outlets about political, social, environmental, and economic changes. These ongoing changes can often feel overwhelming and frightening, leading to a sense of hopelessness. Such feelings can significantly impact mental health, affecting our sense of stability and safety. During challenging times, it’s essential to seek a safe space to express feelings and process complex emotions. At Refresh, we are committed to protecting all patients, especially those most affected by harmful policies.  Everyone deserves dedicated time and space for safety, advocacy, and healing.

II. Protecting LGBTQIA+ Patients

In the current political climate, we recognize that LGBTQIA+ clients face specific challenges and targets. Our practice is committed to gender-affirming therapy and LGBTQIA+ mental health. At Refresh, we understand the importance of living as your most authentic self and its positive impacts on overall life satisfaction. We will never share private information that could put patients at risk. We can provide referrals to LGBTQIA+ organizations that provide legal support and community resources.

III. Protecting BIPOC Patients

At Refresh, we are committed to providing culturally competent, trauma-informed care that acknowledges and addresses the racial trauma uniquely experienced by BIPOC individuals. We actively foster an anti-racist therapeutic environment where discrimination is never tolerated, and every client feels safe, respected, and heard. Our strong connections with BIPOC-led community organizations ensure our clients can access additional, culturally relevant support resources. By promoting racial equity within therapy, we empower our BIPOC clients on their healing journey and advocate for lasting systemic change.

IV. Protecting Patients with Immigration Concerns

At Refresh, we deeply value the safety and well-being of patients facing immigration concerns. We strictly protect privacy and confidentiality, ensuring that immigration status and patient records remain secure and confidential. Our therapists provide specialized, trauma-informed care to help clients navigate the stress, fear, and uncertainty that often accompany immigration challenges. Additionally, we maintain trusted partnerships with legal experts and immigration advocacy groups, offering reliable referrals to support clients in securing essential legal and social services. Our goal is to foster a secure, compassionate, and informed environment where immigrant clients can confidently pursue their mental health and personal well-being.

V. Protecting Women’s Health and Autonomy

Political uncertainty significantly impacts women’s health and autonomy, particularly as shifting policies around reproductive rights create barriers to essential healthcare. Trauma-informed therapy can play a critical role in supporting individuals affected by abortion restrictions and limited access to reproductive services, helping them process complex emotions and experiences. In addition, addressing gender-based violence remains vital, with accessible resources and therapeutic support needed for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. At Refresh, we address mental health advocacy as equally important, as women often face heightened stress and anxiety when navigating policy changes that threaten their rights and personal agency.

VI. Protecting Individuals with Disabilities

We are committed to protecting and supporting individuals with disabilities by recognizing the systemic barriers that impact their daily lives. Our therapists provide care that acknowledges the emotional toll of policy changes affecting healthcare, accessibility, and necessary accommodations. We offer a validating space for clients to process the stress, frustration, and isolation that can come from navigating a society shaped by ableism. By centering the lived experiences of disabled individuals, we provide affirming, inclusive therapy that fosters resilience, self-advocacy, and emotional well-being. Refresh Psychotherapy stands with the disability community, offering compassionate support amidst ongoing systemic challenges.

VII. Protecting Neurodivergent Individuals

We are dedicated to protecting and uplifting neurodivergent individuals by providing therapy that validates and honors their unique experiences. Our clinicians support clients in exploring their neurodivergent identity beyond societal expectations and the pressure to conform, creating space for self-discovery and empowerment. We also help individuals process the emotional toll of masking and the burnout that often results from navigating environments that lack understanding or accommodations. Most importantly, we encourage authentic self-expression, helping clients find ways to be authentic without fear of judgment. At Refresh, we believe in celebrating neurodiversity and fostering a therapeutic space where every mind is respected and supported.

VIII. Protecting Those Affected by Religious and Political Oppression

At Refresh, we understand that religious and political oppression can profoundly impact our clients’ lives and well-being. Our approach is to provide a non-judgmental space where clients can process their experiences of discrimination, family rejection, and/or social isolation. This process involves exploring identity conflicts that can arise as our beliefs shift or evolve in response to changing political or religious views. At Refresh, we support our clients through their emotions, always honoring their authentic selves and personal journeys. We work to strengthen their resilience, especially in the face of religious or political oppression, and to develop coping strategies and emotional tools that build self-worth and confidence.  

IX. How We Take Action

At Refresh, we are committed to advocating for the rights and needs of marginalized communities within the mental health system. We stay engaged with current advocacy efforts, particularly those addressing religious and political oppression, to ensure these issues are recognized and addressed. Our strong partnerships with human rights organizations and support networks provide excellent resources for clients needing additional support. We believe that knowledge is power and are dedicated to informing our clients about their rights, available resources, and support options. Our mission is to empower our clients to make informed decisions about their healing journey and access the range of support services available.At Refresh, we stand firmly by our commitment to your safety, confidentiality, and advocacy. We understand that the decision to seek therapy can be overwhelming, but you’re not alone in this. Many others have felt uncertain and have found the support they needed to heal and grow. You don’t need to go through this alone; our therapy space offers a secure environment for you to heal and grow. To schedule a session or learn more about our services, call (646) 685-4422 or visit www.refreshtherapynyc.com. Remember, we are here to support you every step of the way.